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AADSAS Essay, Letter of Intent, Personal Statement #7

M.G.’s Personal Statement
8 Interviews, 3 Acceptances

Shake vigorously and pour over ice. Bring to a boil and add two pinches of salt. Is Windows not starting up? Not a problem, just reformat. Bartending, cooking and computer maintenance are activities that are not usually seen as being related to one another. Despite their differences, these are hobbies that I thoroughly enjoy. Over time, I began to notice that these activities accentuated certain skills that I possessed, especially manual dexterity. Though I had little career direction upon entering college, deeper consideration while volunteering in India, followed by an internship as a dental student, enabled me to find my own social conscience and the passion and confidence to pursue a career in dentistry.

Bartending and cooking are skills that I ultimately developed due to my childhood interest in mixing different foods and liquids. Mixing vinegar with baking soda was my idea of a good time. Many of my test subjects, also known as my immediate family, disapproved of my early ventures. Still, I kept on trying new recipes. By the time I was halfway through college, I finally had honed my skills to a level where I knew which ingredients could be blended together successfully. Simultaneously, I became certified in basic computer maintenance. Fixing computers allowed me to test myself as there was always a challenge involved in solving each unique problem. Sometimes I would have to open up a computer and manually replace certain parts, many of which could only be seen indirectly. In most cases though, I had to fix subsurface issues before I could tackle the problems that appeared on the interior.

I spent many hours in my kitchen and basement, trying to figure out what I could mix or repair next. With my ever improving bartending and cooking skills, I satisfied people in a way that was different from most visceral pleasures. Computer maintenance, on the other hand, allowed me to develop my own problem-solving skills while also fine-tuning my ability to work in enclosed spaces. I correlated my talents as a bartender, chef and “certified geek,” with my healthcare experience abroad, and I soon discovered dentistry as a profession.

During the summer before my senior year of high school, I traveled to Surat, India to shadow two practicing dentists. One of their offices was part of the federal hospital while the other office was a private practice dental clinic. Although each office served a different population, I could see that my mentors had special connections with each patient. This bond allowed them to provide the highest level of care possible, which reflected their true passion for dentistry. In addition to the interpersonal aspect of dentistry, I gained invaluable knowledge about the financial aspect of the field. Between the offices, there was a marked difference in the budget of patients who came to the federal clinic as opposed to the private practice. With that in mind, Dr. X provided her patients with the best treatment plans according to her expertise. She looked past any shortcomings the patient had and treated them with respect. What I took away from this experience is that professional oral care should not be compromised due to a patient’s financial situation. Despite the variety of patients a dentist may encounter, each patient deserves expert care.

I did not realize it then, but the hobbies and real-life experiences I participated in at that juncture in my life would profoundly affect my career choice. An internship at the New Jersey Dental School illustrated life as a dental student. I was fortunate enough to utilize the same materials that current dental students use and I enjoyed applying them in preclinical applications. The subsequent clinical demonstrations showed me the correlation between the activities I valued and the technical, scientific, and interpersonal aspects of dentistry. The program taught me that dentists are doctors with a social conscience, possessing an ability to relate to their patients on a far more personal level not usually seen in other fields of healthcare. I now realize that the hobbies I still enjoy also have an individual aspect to them. It is the prospect of satisfying a different palate or tackling a problem that I have not seen before that really fuels my curiosity. By obtaining a dental degree, I will be able to relate to people on an individual basis and solve their unique problem, preferably by filling a cavity rather than repairing their hard drive.

2 Comments

2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 UCSFplayboy // May 14, 2008 at 2:07 am

    Paragraph 1- Good beginning. Made me curious to see what the essay was about. The problem, however, is the last sentence. Its topic is completely different from the rest of the paragraph. At the very least, references to volunteering in India and the internship detracted from the main point the author was trying to make. Leaving out the last sentence would have made this paragraph much more coherent.
    Paragraph 2- In reference to the sentence “By the time I was halfway through college, I finally had honed my skills to a level where I knew which ingredients could be blended together successfully,” be careful you don’t suggest something you didn’t intend. Specifically, struggling on such a simple task as blending together ingredients may suggest that the author is just not very talented.
    Paragraph 3- Who in the world says, ‘visceral pleasures?”
    Paragraph 4- I would like to know more about the topics the author mentioned. When she said, “I could see that my mentors had special connections with each patient,” I wanted to know how. When she said, “I gained invaluable knowledge about the financial aspect of the field,” I wanted to see examples. Saying “marked difference in the budget of patients” didn’t answer that question.
    Overall- 1) This essay seems to jump around various topics a lot. The intro suggested that the thesis of the essay would be something related to his skills of manual dexterity . Yet, there wasn’t really any reference to dexterity in the entire essay. 2) There wasn’t a single transition in the entire essay. The author even changed topic mid-paragraph a few times. 3) The last 3 sentences of the conclusion was well done. 4) The support for this essay was rather non-existant. There were lots of assertions like ‘working here helped me do this’ and ‘my experience there did this.” Yet, the reader was never given a reason as to how or why.

  • 2 CheerioKing // May 14, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Thanks UCSFplayboy for the critiques. Hopefully this will help applicants as they form their personal statements for aadsas.

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